Okay, let’s get this straight. I’m about to talk about something disgusting and how I DO NOT GET IT.

How hard is it, as a man, to piss straight? No urinal, okay, there’s a toilet. Okay, there’s a toilet seat on it.

The next step is this: LIFT THE TOILET SEAT AND PEE IN THE TOILET.

You do NOT just piss all over the goddamn thing! Worse is when whoever was in there last decided to piss all over the seat, floor and some of the walls as well.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!?

I am a man. I know how to urinate in a straight line, even when I’m completely wankered (extremely inebriated). It’s not difficult to pick up a toilet seat and pee straight!

So why, countless times, do I find that my fellow men cannot pee straight? Did their parents never teach them this vital skill? Do they drop their pants, turn around continuously until they are dizzy and then just let rip with a golden shower in whatever direction they see fit?

I have no idea, but every time I see it I am rather ashamed.

Plus, can you imagine really needing to have a crap before you find that? *shudders*